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Entries in pamie (8)

Tuesday
Jul102012

News Flash: Dewit Design Camp (SF/Seattle)

Slide presentations are fun. I am a liar.

I know it seems like this place is nothing but camp talk lately, and that is because I am in the camp WEEDS lately. Next week I will embark on a dangerous thirteen-day journey to the wilds of San Francisco, where I will hold not one but two design camps. I have a couple of announcements, so I thought I'd hit y'all with a little news update.

1. The San Francisco class size has been upped from 15 to 20. As of right this second, I have one space left for SF I and three spaces left for SF II. I have never had a class this big before, so it's all very exciting. I will be bringing extra rulers for rapping knuckles.

Sign up for SF I (July 21-22)! Sign up for SF II (July 28-29)!

2. Someone has had to give up their spot for the Seattle camp, so there is one spot available. Sad for her, but yay for you! Sign up here.

3. I have been adding some cute things to the Dewit Design Toolkit, but I cannot find a good place to get custom pencils. The last order I placed, from maybe a less-than-reputable company, was lost in the mail and I paid a bunch of $$$ for a great big box of nothing. Sad face. So I am taking suggestions if you have them.

4. This has nothing to do with camp, but four of my friends have recently dropped books, no big deal. Pam. Stephanie. Heather and Jessica. BAM. I know some smart, funny ladies.

5. I hope you have enjoyed my new habit of randomly bolding words. It's too hot to go outside so I am making my own fun, goodbye.

 

Thursday
Aug252011

A Short Play About My Friendship With Pamie

FADE IN:

INT. RIBON HOUSE - DAY

PAMELA RIBON has an idea for a blog post. She texts her friend, AB CHAO, to tell her ALL about it.

PAM
What about an entry on how to make a stranger a best friend? You have a gift for making someone feel they need you in their lives, even when they are Greg Berlanti.

INT. CHAO HOUSE - SAME

AB CHAO hears her phone ding, checks it. She responds. A furious back-and-forth ensues.

AB
Um, I don't know how that happens.

PAM
Hahahahahahahaaaaa! HA HA HA. HAHA.

AB
For serious, I don't! I never contacted Greg before he wrote me.

PAM
I thought he asked you for the TWoP interview.

AB
I did, after he emailed me a bunch of times.

PAM
Oh.

AB
Besides, what am I gonna say? "Use straws as chopsticks." "Introduce yourself." "Hate rocking chair stores." "Be mad at Wayne Brady."

PAM
Actually, yes on the first two.

AB
Send me a list of five things that made you want to be friends with me, and I'll try to figure out some kind of theory. The first two are already done.

PAM
...and that would be an example what I am talking about. I'm busy, lady! I can't do homework.

AB
I HATE YOU.

PAM
FORGET IT.

AB
(Waits 30 seconds)

PAM
FINE. "Dewit and dewit right." When you write it up, don't forget that "I hate you" is step 4.

AB
Obviously. I'll expect step 5 by the morning.

FIN

Thursday
Aug042011

Pamie Quits Derby and I Get All Emotional

I was trying to think about what to write about today when I saw my girl Pam's entry about leaving roller derby. I read the post, saw the part about her haircut, and immediately texted her, "I NEED TO SEE A PICTURE OF YOUR HAIR." Because, of course, when one of your besties is going through something, the first thing you think about is the state of her head. But come on: I am her stylist for life. I expect her to consult me on these things, and I get kind of upset when she doesn't. (By the way, did y'all know that Pam is the inventor of "Dewit"? One time we were driving in L.A. and passed by a rocking chair store, and I was like, "Are you kidding me? That store is only about ROCKING CHAIRS? Have some dignity, store! And sell some OTHER CHAIRS." And Pam was like, "Welcome to 'Dewit with AB Chao'! Do you have a store that only sells one thing? Do you need to fix that? CALL ME.") And then we laughed for a million years.

AB + Pam in 2006 = Young

So, to get back to Pamie's hair, I was really upset that she didn't consult me on this new haircut. I am very invested in hair in general, as you know. So when it comes to Pam's hair, I think you could say I am overly invested. Once I even cut her hair my own self. This was when Al and Chris's house burned down, and Pam and I flew to Atlanta to help them buy things like underwear and side tables, and I accidentally cut Pam's hair one morning after coffee. (It was not really an accident.) So I cut it, and then she offered the hair to her readers in an eBay auction as a fundraiser, which, as you can imagine, went over like a lead balloon. ("Is it a BALLOON?"). It never sold, obviously, because selling hair on the internet is WEIRD. But I kept that damn Ziploc bag of hair in the trunk of my car for YEARS. I mean that literally: When we turned the car over to Madeleine, she looked into the trunk and proclaimed, "Mama. There is a bag of Pamie's hair in here." (The bag was labelled "Pamie's Hair.") I finally threw it away after that; too many years had passed, and the hair was looking pretty gross.

ANYWAY. This is all just to say that I am sad my sweet Pam has quit derby, even though I was against it for most of her time there. I have been invested in her health ever since there was a convention in Vegas about her and I made her order fried rice and helped her eat it using two straws as chopsticks. But it meant a lot to her, and she loved it so I loved it too. I am sorry that she is having to quit, even though I am happy that this means she will no longer have hematomas on her legs. Hematomas are nobody's friend.

I love you, Pamela. I loved you the second I ate that damn rice with two straws, and I will love you until we are too old to drink Blue Hawaiis (which will be never). Now send me a picture of your hair, girlie.

Sunday
May152011

Music to Make AB Chao Happier, Cooler, More Productive

As you all know, I've been working at home for the past month and a half. What you might not know is that I have been ALONE for most of that time. Alone, alone, alone. So alone that, last week when Vince ran back to the house minutes after leaving for work, he busted me having a serious conversation with Hank about the placement of our living room furniture. Y'all, I have been married to this man for over ten years, and I was embarrassed. I have never worked without people before. Several of my friends warned me to prepare for this phenomenon, most notably Meredith and Pam, who have worked solitary jobs for years and understand how important music is for one's sanity. They both sweetly gave me some music recommendations.

Pamie, of course, had to go above and beyond, and make an actual visual Pinterest board of recommendations for me. Now, I did tell her to DEWIT, but she didn't have to. And yet, she did it anyway. Her board description reads as follows:

AB Chao, who now works from home as a full-time interior decorator, sent an email asking (telling) me to send her lots of new music. She didn't like an emailed list of bands I'd been listening to. So here's a page of images and links, almost always to a free track or something to stream. You're welcome, AB! Now find me a couch!

Perhaps you will also benefit from Pam's music prowess. My favorites from this list are Charles Bradley, Candy Coated Killahz, and Slithering Beast. I never thought I would love bands with weird names like that, but I do. I am grateful for good friends, and good music. Maybe if you are feeling generous you will tell me what you love to listen to at work, also, in the comments. Yes?

PS. Mere's recommendations were for Amos Lee, Citizen Cope, and Guster. I cannot stop listening to any of them, either. The end.

Monday
May092011

Video: Chao Camp/Absence of Dignity

I don't know what led me to Pam's website to watch this again -- it was obviously some search revealing an absence of dignity -- but it made me laugh for about ten years. The video is at least two years old, so we all look like a bunch of babies, but please enjoy me, Pamie, and Allison talking about nothing and giggling a lot. You may get a look into each of our personalities. It's probably not worth ten minutes of your lives, but maybe you already watched Oprah and you're bored. I don't know your life!

Video courtesy of pamie.com

PS. Stay tuned for an exciting before and after later in the week.